NEW YORK — Was it crazy? Was it dangerous? Was it even possible?
For nine days last winter, the question of whether Lindsey Vonn should race in the Winter Olympics on a freshly torn ACL was the talk of sports TV shows, TikToks, Instagram comments and real-life debates.
In the end — the painful end — it was "all of the above," Vonn says.
A few months ago, America's most famous downhill skier was in the midst of a remarkable career comeback. At 41 years old, Vonn's return to the World Cup leaderboard after years of retirement had defied her doubters and turned the world's heads. Her goal had always been to go out on top at the Olympic race in Cortina D'Ampezzo, the beloved slope where Vonn had won a dozen World Cup victories in her historic career.
That, of course, isn't what happened.
Instead, millions watched as Vonn's arm clipped a gate just 13 seconds into the race, a mistake that flung her body into the air and sent her tumbling down the hill. Her wails of pain were audible on TV broadcasts as medics tended to her before a helicopter finally carried her away.
It was the worst crash of her career. Afterward, Vonn spent days in an Italian hospital bed, then weeks in a wheelchair. Even now, she still needs crutches to get around. Her recovery won't be complete for another year at least.
In an interview with NPR, Vonn acknowledged that she wishes some things had gone differently. But she said she has no regrets.
"My crashes, my obstacles, everything that I face in my life has always made me a better person," she said. "This is where I am. I'm lucky. I'm happy. And I'm always going to do the best I can no matter what."
Reflecting on her journey back to the Olympics
Vonn's condition now is a sharp contrast from a few months ago, when she was arguably in the best shape of her life.
That she had retired in 2019 made her domination of the World Cup circuit at 41 all the more impressive. The first part of her career had been plenty illustrious already — she was the first American to win Olympic gold in the women's downhill, and for a time she was the winningest skier in history — but after five years off the slope plus a partial knee replacement, her doubters were many.
Yet she quickly quieted them with two World Cup wins and a handful of podium finishes. She was leading the downhill standings headed into the Olympics.
"My age didn't mean that I had somehow lost the ability to ski fast," Vonn said. "It felt good to be back on top again."
Then, with barely a week to go before the Olympic Games began in February, Vonn lost control during a race in Switzerland and crashed into the netting. At the hospital, she learned she'd torn her ACL.
"I was shocked. But also, like, I didn't miss a beat," she said. "I was not sad. I wasn't angry. I was just like, okay, this is what we have."
Over the next nine days, Vonn got back to work. Her leg soon felt stable and strong.
Meanwhile, the outside world had started to doubt her once again. Sports talk show hosts and social media talking heads opined that to race would be dangerous and irresponsible. She was accused of staging a publicity stunt, or of taking another potential competitor's spot. (Under Olympic qualification rules, Vonn and three other Americans had earned their spots in the downhill race; nobody else could have taken her place.)
None of that deterred her from the challenge in Cortina.
The morning of the Olympic downhill race was sunny and bright. Thousands of fans packed into the grandstand at the Tofane Ski Center. Nearly 2,500 feet above them, up on the mountainside, Vonn stepped into the start house.
"I just remember feeling so good and feeling thankful. And I got emotional because I was just so happy to be in that spot, to think about what I'd gone through to be there," she said.
Thirteen seconds later came the nightmare. As Vonn lay on the snow after the crash — in tremendous pain, unable to move — she knew already she'd broken her leg. The only question was, how bad would it be?
The most extreme injury of her career
When you ski as fast as the world's top downhill racers, injuries are a fact of life. Vonn, like all serious competitors, had racked up a long list of injuries in her career before this — including a crash in 2018 that claimed a ligament and meniscus in her left knee and ultimately led to her (first) retirement.
This was worse.
Not only had she broken her left leg — a complex tibial fracture, with cracks in her fibular head and tibial plateau — but the crash also broke her right ankle. A complication known as compartment syndrome meant Vonn needed an emergency fasciotomy, a procedure in which doctors sliced her leg open in order to relieve pressure building inside from internal bleeding. Otherwise, she believes, she might have needed an amputation.
The pain, she told NPR, was "unbearable."
Vonn received multiple emergency surgeries in Italy, then about a week later, she was medically evacuated to the U.S. There, she received a six-hour surgery in Colorado before she was finally able to return home in Utah.
Soon after the crash, Vonn wrote on her Instagram that her torn ACL "had nothing to do with my crash whatsoever."
But speaking to NPR last week, she acknowledged the injury did play a role. The lack of stability in her knee had forced her to change her approach to the Olympic race, she explained — to ski more aggressively on some parts in order to make up time on sections where the torn ACL would force her to slow down.
"Because of my ACL, I couldn't rely on certain aspects of my skiing that I normally would," she said. "I was trying to make a calculated plan on where I could make up time."
Sharing her recovery with the world
The early stages of recovery were more difficult than she had imagined. "The amount of time in a wheelchair and just being unable to do really anything without someone taking care of me — I'm a very independent person, and I don't want to burden anybody. And I felt like I was a constant burden," she said.
It is normal for anyone, even elite athletes, to go quiet when they sustain a severe injury to recover in private.
Vonn, though, has never been normal.
"I've always been a really open person. I'm not someone that hides who I am. Like, this is me with makeup, without makeup, healthy, not healthy — whatever it is, this is me," she said.
Starting in Italy, she decided to be open about her ordeal on social media, with photos and videos from her hospital beds, surgeries, and long hours of physical therapy at home.
"It was tough because I was isolated. Social media was the only way for me to communicate with the outside world in a lot of ways," she said.
All that time alone to reflect led to some of the most introspective thoughts and writing she'd ever done, she said. "It was actually really therapeutic for me, because I feel like I had so many emotions that I wanted to tell people, and it was really the only way for me to do that," she added.
Now, Vonn is dipping her toe back into the real world.
First was the photo shoot for Vanity Fair ("It was the first time I felt more [like] me," she said. "I'd been in sweatpants with no makeup for so long. And I finally felt more feminine. I'm like, 'OK, I'm still here.'"). Then came the trip to New York for an educational campaign called Antibodies for Any Body for the pharmaceutical company Invivyd, which specializes in antibody-based preventions and treatments for Covid-19 and other viral diseases.
She signed that deal last winter before her injuries. But she never seriously considered canceling, she said.
Her road to recovery remains a long one: countless hours of rehab, plus another surgery this fall to remove the metal from her left leg, then another sometime after that to finally address her torn ACL.
Yet she would not rule out a return to the ski slope one day — if only to get some closure.
"I never even got a chance to say goodbye to anyone. I saw my teammates in the start, and then I was whisked away in a chopper, and I never saw anyone again," she said. "Not even for racing, but just as a human being to say, 'This was fun. I love you guys.'"
That might take her a while, she admitted. "But since I'm not one to hide my story, I'm sure I'll tell you on Instagram," she said with a smile.
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